Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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