I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
