Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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