Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
