People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
