Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
