i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
