Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
