My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
