i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
