remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
