We need to rekindle our bromance
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You are the jesus of drinking
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
