I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
