Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Less talking, more tequila
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Found the puke drawer
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
