You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
