Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
