theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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