i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
