high people should be assigned attendants
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
BRING THE BAGELS
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
