I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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