i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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