Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
