'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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