So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
