This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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