Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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