he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
