girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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