I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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