He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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