Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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