sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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