The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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