his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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