I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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