these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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