Sponge bath it is.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
