she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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