if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
