But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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