What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
