Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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