just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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