will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
