I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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