you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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