I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
