I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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