The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
