Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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