woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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