Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You may now shotgun with the bride
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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