We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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