i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
