The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
