I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
